Archive for May, 2006

Leave me alone!

Why is it when I take a much-needed mental health day off, I get inundated with visitors and phone calls?  Some podgy woman in a sleeveless top looking cold (stupid woman) knocked on my door.  I had no idea who she was but I refused to answer the door.  I was in no mood to see anyone and neither my house or my person were in any fit state to receive visitors. 

Then the phone rings.  I answered it and it was some woman asking for me.  I just said “she’s not here today” and the woman sounded quite put out.  She could have left a message but no, just sounded inconvenienced like it was the phone answerer’s fault (not knowing of course that I was lying through my teeth, stubbornly refusing to interract with anyone on my mental health day).  Whoever it was, I’m sure it’s not important.  They can contact me through email.  Anyone who knows me personally will know that I do not live with another woman.

I’ve completed most of the report which is very satisfying.  Just the conclusion to go.

Not looking forward to returning to work tomorrow however.  The boss hates people taking days off.  She never believes they’re sick and has the attitude that people should work through thick and thin (just because she does, affecting everyone around her).  One of my workmates has bipolar disorder and an ex-staff member suffered from depression and both were away from work quite a few times.  She couldn’t understand it.  She seems to think that just because when she feels a little down she still goes to work regardless, that others should too.  She has no idea.  When you can’t face work and can’t function normally (especially when dealing with customers) then you cannot and should not go to work.


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Mood: melancholy
Listening to: Coldplay

Well, actually I’m trying to write a report due next week.  But I’m glad I took the day off work.  I couldn’t face it today.  I even dreamed about ringing up work and fibbing that I was sick.  In the dream I even looked at the clock waiting for it to reach 7.30 am so I could ring up.  So the urge was definitely there.

I call it a mental health day which is just as important as taking a day off if you’re physically sick.  Mental health is just not taken seriously.  The morale over the whole work place is very low and I think most people would jump at the chance to take up something offered elsewhere.  When you’re not looking there are jobs everywhere.  The minute you think seriously about it, there are none.  It’s like a strategy game – if you don’t make your move when you have the opportunity, then you lose.

Feeling quite lost, actually.  My daughter is staying with a friend for a while and I’ve been alone.  It’s just as well I have pets to keep me company.  I’d feel quite desolate in a completely empty house.

I’m listening to music given to me by my  brother.  At Christmas he gave me three CDs.  They are Coldplay, Jamiroquai and Enya.  I like one or two songs of Coldplay but I find a whole CD a bit boring.  I’m not that keen on Jamiroquai.  I used to like Enya’s earlier work, but this one is very very samey.  All her songs sound the same so it’s also boring to listen to.  So, I can tolerate listening to Coldplay but the rest just make me restless – wanting to get up and press the button for the next song, which is just as dissatisfying as the previous one.  It’s the thought that counts, sure, but with such a subjective thing as music tastes, it’s better not giving anything than giving something that’s not really wanted.  In my opinion, anyway.  I would hate to give something to someone who put it on the shelf and never used it or, worse, threw it away at the earliest opportunity.

On with my report, then another brief break later perhaps.

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Mood: miserable
Listening to: something celtic – Capercaillie I think

I really should take note of it.  I knew when I ordered the coin scarf online that I would probably never see it.  Not to disappoint, I haven’t heard from the company about delivery and they haven’t responded to my emails.  The company I paid through appears to  have withdrawn their website too – fucking marvellous (excuse my French).  Oh well.  Only 30 odd bucks gone down the drain, but it is disappointing.  Looks like I’ll have to pay twice as much if not more.  But it can wait.  Got caught speeding again so forking out another 80 bucks for nothing.  I swear those cops just sit on street corners waiting for me to do 5 kms above the speed limit.  (I could’ve sworn I wrote about this already but it appears not – maybe I dreamed it.)  How many years of driving and never pulled over for anything and in the last 9 months pulled over 3 times.  Bastards should go after the “professional” speedsters who race around everywhere at some ungodly speed.  Well, it was a fair cop this time I suppose.  Perhaps it was the English accent of the copper that assuaged my mood.  Oh well.

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Listening to: Tool

or just plain ‘Siedler’ as I know it aka “Settlers of Catan”.  Great game and I’m addicted.  Every time I go to my brother’s place we play it several times.  I don’t have it myself and in any case you need at least three players.

But!  I saw a computer copy as I was browsing something and downloaded the demo.  Unfortunately the demo was only an hour long – just long enough to be in the middle of a game and want to finish (and preferably win).  Great marketing trick.  So yes, I purchased it.  So easy – type a few numbers in and hey presto it’s yours.  So yes, now I can happily play away without the need for the board and 2 other people.  It’s a little less than half the price of the actual board game.

Excellent procrastination tool!

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Feeling a little nauseous.  I flung together some rice and egg and it just doesn’t taste that great.  I’ve been out every night this week so haven’t had a decent meal.  Last night was chips, a piece of cheese and some chocolate stuff.  The night before was soup and toast or was that the night before the night before?  Anyway.

Forgot what I was going to write.  Can’t have been thrilling.

Oh – the good news (not).  Due to budget restraints (the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off) any staff vacancies will not be filled this year.  There goes my hope of getting that job in the other department.  I seriously will have to look elsewhere in order to keep my sanity.

Had a couple of drinks after work with some friends and probably shouldn’t have driven home.  One more would have put me over.  I’m fine but just on the verge I can feel.  The third drink would have been orange juice but we all left at the same time.

Oh!  Janey (Godley) had her pic in the newspaper today!  Yay Janey!

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We’ve had a cutback in staff over the past year and yet we’re expected to do the same and more.  So when one person is off sick or on annual leave it makes things difficult for the rest.  So I got back to work after a week off and had stuff to catch up on, naturally but also had extra to do because one of us was off sick today.  I actually worked overtime in order to finish the basics – which is fine because I was late to work this morning anyway, dropping daughter  off at the airport so she can spend some time with her friend down south.

I got a call from my sister-in-law this morning.  I don’t like getting phone calls at odd hours from people who don’t normally call – it’s always bad news.  Anyway, not that serious but when she said my bro “has had an accident” you immediately fear the worst.  He’d cut his hand with the circular saw and was now in Lower Hutt hospital waiting for surgery.  There’s a three-day waiting list for surgery!  So there he is, his nerves and tendons hanging out of his hand and he has to wait 3 days for anything to happen!!!  Such is the poor state of the NZ health system.  The waiting lists are appalling.  Many are sent back to their GP to await in one NZ doc’s words, “a slow death”.  Charming isn’t it.  Some patients are thinking of going overseas to get treatment.  Can you blame them?  You MIGHT get seen if you’re on death’s door but don’t count on it.  You’re more likely to get misdiagnosed and sent home.

Time to grab something to eat before heading out to belly dancing.  I received my coin belt today and am pleased with it.  Better than a more expensive one I bought a few weeks ago (when desperate and unable to find anything).

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Ooo err

So the  owners are selling up?  I don’t blame them but I do hope the new owners don’t change anything – none of the good features that is.  I do like this blog site and wouldn’t want to have to leave it if any changes are just not to my liking.  It’s happened before.  When I first starting blogging and the blog site changed hands and they changed things for the worse.  I couldn’t bear it and left.

Oh well.  Are the forums still going?  Perhaps I’ll  leave a message. No I can’t see a link to any.  I like the smallness of this site.  The others are too big and you feel lost.

Nothing much doing  here.

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