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Mood: Tired
Listening to: alarmed blackbirds (the cat stalks)

Had a few days at my brother’s.  Got completely drunk on Christmas Eve, so endured Xmas day with a hangover.  Not the most pleasant of experiences.  I quietly vomited in the garden after the queasiness got too much in the morning.  My elder daughter joined us on Xmas day.  None of us were particularly hungry at lunch so we didn’t have a traditional dinner (or barbecue).  Ham sandwiches it was.  Later we felt well enough (my brother and I) to be able to tackle something more substantial.  It’s the first time, I think, that I’ve had a barbecue for Xmas.  Just seems weird, even though it is summer.  It’s still hot meat isn’t it.  Daughters and I visited Castlepoint in the afternoon.  Well, I stayed in the car and tried reading my book, while they went up to the lighthouse.  There was a cold wind and I wasn’t feeling particularly energetic.  I think it took until evening for the headache to wear off.

The following day (Boxing Day) the girls and I headed into Masterton to visit the ex-inlaws and girls’ cousin who were staying in a motor lodge overnight while the rest of the cousins (the males) were at a drag race meeting.  Cup of tea, a play with the cousin’s (ex-niece in law?) toddler girl and a wander around the property at the back of the lodge.  They’re even more sedentary than I am, so the planned meeting at a park or a suggested visit to the beach didn’t eventuate.  Returned to bro’s for dinner. 

Instead visited Riversdale beach the next day.  Cold wind again, but the girls had a swim and the dogs had a good walk.  My brother’s little Jack Russell found the whole place quite bewildering.  She’s 6 months old but I think it was her first visit to a beach – so the sea, sand and lots of people were an experience for her (she doesn’t normally get to see many people).  Her digging instincts were funny to watch.  As the girls made sandcastles she joined in digging deep and even biting a few chunks of sand.

Older daughter headed back to Wellington that afternoon and younger daughter and I stayed on for a meal of leftovers before heading back home.  Thankfully the house was safe, all possessions accounted for.  I always have a fear of returning to a burned down house or a ransacked one.  Silly isn’t it.  But it’s always a relief to see it all as we left it.

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Thunder

Mood: lazy
Listening to: thunder

Sat outside reading ‘A Short History of Everything’ and heard thunder.  Looked up and sure enough the dark clouds approach.  It’s been like this for a few days now – humidity then downpours.  It’s becoming tropical.  Normally December is just one of mild, cloudy days and maybe some drizzle and cool temperatures.  Not this year.

I should be doing some research, as I promised someone I would at least look at a list she’d supplied and indicate which ones we should use.  But hell, it’s that time of year when I just want to wind down and complete the pesky Xmas shopping and prepare for our trip to my brother’s place on Friday. 

I’ve attempted to do some clearing up and weeding and replanting in the garden, but I seem to be allergic to plants.  I come away with rashes on my arms.  I obviously need long gloves – but gardening gloves are only wrist length.  Long sleeved shirts will have to do, which is the last thing you want to wear in the heat.

Time to think of something to eat for dinner.  We’re running low on food again.  I’ll have to be creative…

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Headache potential

Mood: fairly drained
Listening to: something loud

After a blisteringly humid day which drained the life out of everyone, I’m now home with thumping loud music – sharing the house with a load of teenagers in black.  How delightful.

Some of the music I don’t mind.  Some of it is… well… let’s just say it’s dark – I wouldn’t call it singing!

I may retreat to my room later.  Leave them to it.  I may use headphones too.  Actually I might sneak out and rent a DVD and watch it on my laptop in my room.  Yes, good idea…

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Feeling exhausted

It’s been very humid past three or four days and it’s just so draining.  None of us at work had any energy at all.Older daughter is home for a brief visit.  She and younger went Xmas shopping today with younger daughter’s boyfriend.  Older daughter only stayed one night and she’s cleaned out my fridge – I was looking forward to making a chicken salad for lunch with the leftover chicken this morning, only to find both the chicken and the leftover pasta gone.  A little disappointing.

My brother’s new dog came with them on the visit yesterday.  Very cute Foxie/Jack Russell but a yapper.  Kept yapping at my dog even though my old girl just wanted to ignore it.  However, she felt obliged to bark back – bit of a competition going on it seemed.  When my girl got fed up with the aggression she wrestled with her and had  the young one on her back, teeth bared.  Still the little one didn’t learn and kept yapping away.  I can’t bear yappy dogs.  Give me a German Shepherd any day.  Hopefully the young foxie will mature and learn better manners.

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Postscript to yesterday

I got onto the topic of age and my impending depression made me forget what else I was going to write.

I bought a tree on the way home yesterday.   About a week earlier than I usually do.  Daughter was happy and promptly named it ‘Jum’.  Don’t ask – I have no idea.  I have weird daughters.  But then I’m rather weird too so they didn’t have much of a chance.  Anyway, I digress.  We haven’t decorated the tree yet.  I’ll leave that up to daughter today.  Meanwhile I have the rest of the vacuuming to do (she didn’t finish it), a pile of washing to do, and some general tidying up.  A weekend is never enough time to catch up with everything.  I haven’t prepared for Wednesday’s meeting either.  So that’ll take care of Monday and Tuesday evenings…

About the only good thing I got out of yesterday’s lunch, was a tip as to the best place to buy gardening gifts.  So many gardening places have closed down lately – I can count three at least and one I used to go to has changed hands and become more expensive with less variety.  Most unimpressed.  So the  two garden centres this side of town are crap.  I’ll have to visit the only remaining garden centres? on the other side of town.  So a visit there to buy something for my sister-in-law who’s life consists of gardening and feeding lambs (although they must have grown enough not to need that by now).

Time to get off here.  Bro is due to arrive to pick up the last remaining item of furniture which he stored with me 10-15 years ago.  Any remaining junk will be mine and no-one to blame but myself.

Yes, a big cleanup is required.

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Getting there

It feels like I’m slowly catching up with stuff.  Started buying Xmas gifts, managed to mow the lawn today, got rid of some junk out the back…

So the Xmas lunch with the women went as expected.  I got bored when two of them were talking about some woman they knew and how they were disgusted with her behaviour.  I can’t bear that.  I hate gossip.  And to talk about someone when the others don’t know the person is somehow worse.   I was looking at them and seeing how they’d aged.  One will be turning 50 next year and watching her talk I could imagine her at 60.  She’s quite lined.  The others definitely looked in their late 40s.  Do I look that old?  I know I’m not far behind if I don’t yet.  Every year sees droopier skin and more wrinkles.  It’s quite depressing.

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Biding some time

before I HAVE to start preparing a salad for a lunch with a group of women.  They have a tradition now – to get together once a year (ie near Xmas).  We used to meet on a weekly or monthly? (can’t recall now) basis when the children were very young.  The habit didn’t die even when most of us found jobs.  Although when I started working fulltime I no longer went to any of their gatherings.

I missed last year’s so was made to feel guilty into going this year.  Ok, I thought.   I guess it’s time to catch up.  But really, they’re the same every single time.  The topics of conversation are: money (or lack of), the weather, men, children, gossip about others.  It’s extremely tedious.  Most of them are housewives so I guess there isn’t much else to talk about.

Well, it’s time to get ready.  I’ll give a report back later.  See if it was the same.

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And now to Christmas

Report and presentation over.  I can focus on Christmas finally.  I’d better start buying some gifts.  Oh God, and then there’s the Xmas cards.  I’ve yet to send the ones overseas – oh dear.  I have no idea what to buy for my brother – he has everything…

I get really annoyed by spammers.  They go to the hassle of joining up here simply to leave their annoying repetitive message on the guestbooks.  Do they seriously think anyone is going to actually click on the links before deleting?  Idiots. 

To work…

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Three quarters done

Report done, thank god.  Now for the powerpoint slides – shouldn’t take long.

I’ve spent four ghastly days fighting procrastination and trying to find motivation.  The worst is over.  Phew!  Took me long enough.  I don’t remember having such trouble before.  I found all sorts of distractions just to take a break from tedium.  I feel like I’ve been chained to the computer.  Sick of the sight of cobwebs in the corner (not had a chance or the energy to vacuum…).

I received a very mournful email from S.  My heart goes out to him.  I have no idea what’s happened but I gather his relationship has ended.  He won’t go into detail – only to tell me that the past few months have been awful.  I’ve been thinking of him with such love these past couple of days and only discovered 10 minutes ago that he’d sent an email last night.  My depression and stress are mere trivia compared to the problems of S and another friend of mine whose relationship just ended.  I know the pain they feel.  It hurts deeply.

I’m glad my heart overruled my doubting head and knew that he was too depressed to write…  I wish I could ease his pain.

A powerpoint presentation is peanuts…

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I’m an expert

at procrastinating.  I should be working on a report but I just can’t get motivated.  The sun is shining and all sorts of other thoughts are racing through my mind, but not the subject at hand.  Tedium.  Just a few hours if only I got my brain working.  Ho hum….

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