So much has happened

It’s been a while since I wrote. Sadly, since writing about people dying from or suffering from cancer, another friend here in Melbourne (a NZer) found out she had cancer and died within six months! It was a shock to everyone. I really felt her loss. We hadn’t seen much of each other because of Covid lockdowns but we chatted and text by phone. We used to go and see plays together. I will miss her sense of humour, her sarcasm, her vibrancy, and especially her company on attending plays (if I bother now). I’d known her since we were teens (I was first a friend of her sister’s). She had only just turned 59.

Then the girls’ step-cousin who I mentioned, died in December, age 44. She clung on ’til after Christmas. She leaves a husband and two young children. So tragic. I had two funerals to attend via zoom (both in NZ).

I’ve been on a few trips since I last wrote, once we were released from lockdown and had no community cases of Covid. The state borders are closed then open on a regular basis so it’s risky to travel interstate, but within Victoria is ok. I have had to upload a lot of photos and it seems to take forever to just view them and put them in appropriate folders, let alone edit (if any – I’m becoming lazier). So I have a lot to catch up on and will update soon. There are not enough hours in the day.

Since the start of the year I made a resolution, I suppose you could call it, to finally get back into sketching. I used to do the odd watercolour too, but over the years lost all confidence in my ability to do anything. A few episodes of watching Bob Ross finally gave me the impetus, so I’m trying to do a painting once a week (either watercolour or acrylics), as well as regularly sketch.

I’ve also, after several years, decided to get back into bellydancing, taking a virtual class. It’s been a while but finding the time, as well as doing a futurelearn course and the artwork (and keeping up with streaming TV programmes!) can be tricky. Work gets in the way! As for work, meh. Unfortunately my immediate manager is of the “micro” variety. I much prefer managers who leave you to it, knowing you’ll do the work, rather than checking in every bloody day. Not here to rant, so that’s all for now.

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Sadness

Well, the disappointment of not being able to travel after over a year of planning has hit hard and as a whole we’re quite depressed. We’ve managed to cancel half of the accommodation, with some yet to sort. I’ve cancelled the cattery. Next up is hopefully a credit with the airline. Then we’ve got to re-organise the whole thing which is a pain in the proverbial. [PS. I’ve just cancelled the flights with a full refund.]

I’ve lost all motivation while working from home. I’ve become lazy. I’ve lost interest in family history for now, not knowing what to do next. The UK trip was based on family history, visiting ancestral villages, etc. We were all so excited.

So, stuck at home, with not even the ability to travel within Australia thanks to a spike in Covid19 cases. While the rest of Australia eases back on restrictions and can travel interstate, in Victoria some suburbs have gone back into lockdown, all thanks to slack, ignorant, or selfish bastards. Thankfully I’m not in one of those suburbs, but may as well be. I only go out to go to the supermarket or visit my daughter. There is no dancing, there are no bird trips, no meetup events. This year is a complete write-off. Added to that, our salaries at work will be cut by 10% because of the loss of income due to no Chinese visitors. How ironic. I’m to stay working at home until the end of the month, then supposedly staggered days, partly at work and partly at home.

So, I’ve just been watching Netflix, Stan, SBS and playing Sims 2 and 4. I get out walking as much as possible but it’s not enough. I’ve put on weight. It’s all rather depressing.

Added to the depression is the number of people I know suffering from, or having died from cancer. A former colleague died in her 40s, and a good friend of mine died in February. I was so shocked to find out and still can’t believe it – that I’ll never see her face again when visiting the town. She was so happy to see me when I gave her a surprise visit two years ago. I had no idea she was ill. It was so sudden.  Another former colleague’s mother has cancer. And the step-sister of the girls’ cousin has brain cancer and has just lost her hearing. They say she won’t last long. She’s only in her early 40s with two young children. So cruel. So heartwrenching. I always liked her – so vibrant and friendly, which makes it all the more horrible. It seems to be true, that only the good die young.

So I should be grateful: that I have my health (despite aches and pains); am alive to see the sun, to appreciate birds singing outside; to have a job. So many – thousands, millions, have lost their lives and livelihoods.

One thing that did make me laugh this morning. My daughter shared a message that the husband of one of her cousins had put on Facebook. He was entering a competition to win a gaming console, claiming that he’d lost his job through “Covert19”. (I know some use that word instead of covid because they think it’s a conspiracy but this guy is not even that “intelligent”.) He didn’t lose his job as a result of Covid19 – he was caught stealing from his workplace – he’s a liar and a thief, pleading innocence even though he was caught on camera. An idiot. He’s the laughing stock of the family and lost any respect he might have had (negligible).

I’ve run out of British comedies to make me laugh. I really enjoyed several seasons of Still Game on Netflix. It took me a couple of episodes to get into it but I loved the characters. Any suggestions for humour appreciated. The second season of AfterLife was not funny at all.

I’d better go. Enough venting.

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Plans go awry

Well, shit, how things can change in three short months.

The new work place was going well. My new supervisor (there seem to be many layers of managers) was also new and we started together. She’s friendly and open but with a tendency to micromanage (weekly meetings – really?).

So yeah, my plans that I was so excited about in my last entry – how could anyone have predicted the devastating effects of the coronavirus? At the moment it seems highly unlikely that travel plans for September will eventuate. My daughter is hopeful. So we’re in limbo, hoping at least that we can postpone bookings to next year if necessary.

So, I’ve been working from home for a month now. At least I got to know my colleagues a bit beforehand. We do regular coffee catchups online and a daily exercise routine which is good. Then the daily team meeting (unnecessary but ok I guess). We’re keeping in touch. I’m over my dislike of seeing myself on screen – to the extent that I finally did a Skype session with bro and daughters (on H’s 30th birthday – poor girl had plans but had to stay put on lockdown).

It hasn’t been too bad working from home. I get to spend more time with my cat, I can sit next to a sunny window (previously my desk was facing a wall and the window was overshadowed by another building), I can listen to music while I work, I can go for walks at lunchtime, and when I finish (instead of commuting for 45-50 minutes).

You have to look at the positive aspects. If you’re lucky enough to live with someone (instead of living alone) you can spend more time together (or maybe that isn’t such a good thing depending on relationships). If you’re lucky enough to work from home (so many have lost jobs), you can get up later, using the time you would have commuted to sleep longer. You get to see colleagues’ houses and pets during online meetings. And in general: if, like me you’re an introvert, you don’t have to worry about people dropping by unannounced; you don’t feel envious about others’ exotic holidays (they’re also stuck at home); it’s good for the environment.

I hope you are all well and surviving, coping with something that still feels surreal. The uncertainty is hard to bear, and knowing the financial repercussions to come… I only wish that the environmental changes could become permanent, but we know that’s not going to happen. Despite people saying that we can’t go back to normal, that we have to make changes, no-one will. It’ll go back to the norm the minute the shops re-open and travel resumes.

Anyway, I’m off now to do housework. The house gets much dirtier with me in it 24/7.

Stay well.

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Planning

This week I finish my part-time job then six days later I start my new full-time job, which is exciting. I’m looking forward to new challenges, new people and a healthier income. I will have to watch out that I don’t put on weight though. For my current job I am on my feet a lot, use public transport, and walk everywhere. The new job, necessarily, involves using the car every day and there will be a lot of sitting during the day. I need to ensure I get enough exercise.

In this transitory period between one job and another (I’ve already, mentally, moved on), I am continuing planning my UK road trip with daughters and bro. Really looking forward to it. The itinerary is mapped out and dates decided on. We’ve already booked flights and have booked accommodation at numerous places on our trip through England and Scotland. We’ve only got a few more places to book. It’s been exciting looking at all the options and choosing the nicest (but comparatively cheap) accommodation that will accommodate all of us, preferably with separate beds. Bro needs a room to himself so he can snore to his heart’s content (and hopefully we won’t hear him). Most places we’ve looked at for four adults only offer a double and two singles, or two doubles (their assumption being that at least two of the four adults are a couple). Not good for us at all, even with a sofa bed. So, we’re concentrating on apartments and cottages on AirBnb. We have to move fast even eight months in advance as they’re booking out quickly.

London doesn’t really feature except as a place to fly into and out of. We’ve all been to London before and are more interested in rural and regional UK (something the girls have not experienced). We’ll start in Winchester and drive to the west then north to Edinburgh, doing a loop back south through York and ending in Cambridge to see the Battle of Britain air show, which my bro was very keen on (as a kid he made WW2 aircraft models and read Biggles). I didn’t mind either as I had been to the Royal Air Force Museum with my father years ago and really enjoyed it.

So, definitely something to look forward to, all going well!

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Nothing much

So I haven’t really anything to write about. Life goes on. The winter expanded into October. Only now are we getting warmer weather, but still have to keep jackets out just in case, and it’s nearly December.

I have a few thoughts running around in my head, so I suppose that’s why I came here.

Firstly, stress: at another job interview coming up. I have had many unsuccessful intervews here. What am I doing wrong, I wonder. Or is the competition too fierce – always someone better suited, with more knowledge and/or experience; at Xmas fast approaching. One daughter is easy to buy for – all set for her. The other is more difficult. I also have to even out the gifts, so if I get 3 small gifts for one, for example, I feel obliged to get 3 for the other. Time is running out. Less than a month, and even less time until I fly to NZ.

Secondly, partially related to stress – the need to find happiness and/or contentment. Bird outings make me happy. I’ve requested the library also order the book “Bird Therapy”. I’ve also been trying mindfulness in meditation, photography, and drawing.

And finally, I’ve deleted my Twitter account. It often made me depressed. Whenever I posted anything there it felt like no-one read it or commented. It was one way communication. It was not doing me any good at all. So it’s gone – deactivated, and I will not return. I gave it a go for over 10 years and it basically did nothing for me.

There was a brief item on the “news” this evening about a celebration of centenarians. Of course, they’re always asked the secret to long life. One man, who looked 70 not over 100, said just to enjoy life. Don’t fight problems, don’t fight, just enjoy. This is what I need to learn to do. Just enjoy life. Stop worrying. Stop looking in the mirror and seeing age and ugliness.

So anyway, I’m trying. It’s always a constant battle. I can’t escape myself, so I have to ignore my own negativity, hear it but don’t listen, move beyond it, look forward, laugh and enjoy. Wish me luck.

Postscript: The job interview was awful. I stumbled my way through some difficult questions. I’m just not articulate enough. To make matters worse I had the runs in the morning (through stress?) and the visitor’s carpark was closed. I was just relieved to get it over with. Oh well.

Post-postscript: I got the job! You could have knocked me down with a feather. I suppose my experience counted for something after all. A new year, a new job. Fantastic.

 

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Hmm

What to write? I had come here to share photos of the latest bird outing, but also wanted to update since the last post, and I had intended to write about my trip to Rarotonga. Perhaps I should have a separate blog about bird outings? I think I might.

So that leaves two things to potentially write about.

Update on last one.  Things are looking up. I got a call from the job that had no work that work is coming but still no update as to when. In the meantime at my other job, I picked up some regular hours until December which is good. And I’ve just had another interview which went much better than the last. It is a very small place and I might get a bit bored but it’s fulltime, pays well, and is close to home. We shall see. It sounds ridiculous but all these positive changes have happened since I made changes to the “money corner” according to feng shui. I’m no great believer, but I felt desperate after the tax office demanded a lot of money. Anything to offset the setback caused by those bastards.

I still don’t particularly feel like blogging about Rarotonga. Maybe because I’ve already shared photos with friends and family.

It’s September already and my daughter tells me she’s already seen Xmas mince pies in the supermarket, ffs. It will come soon enough. I’ll be spending this Xmas in NZ with bro and daughters – looking forward to it. As usual, I have no idea what to get for gifts. I did, amazingly, think of looking in a shop I go to for unusual gifts when I was in the shopping mall lately, but (just my luck), the shop appears to have closed down. Another shop closer to where I live, had a massive sale recently, but I didn’t find out until I was on my way to catching a train to work. Just my luck.

In all honesty, I have no idea what else to write, so I’ll end here.

PS: I have added yet another blog – for birds. Check out the first post. The blog link is under the blog roll.

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An expensive year

Two months have passed since my last post and nothing much has changed. There is still no work at my “second” job and not enough at my first. So my income has basically halved. I have applied for numerous fulltime jobs without luck. To add to the frustrations, the tax office has estimated that I owe them quite a lot. I checked on their estimations and it seems they’re correct. Damnation.

Rather rashly, I’ve spent money on three overseas trips this year – one in January to NZ, one in July to Rarotonga, and it was arranged for the family to have Xmas together in NZ, which means paying three times the usual for the airfare, thanks to airlines ripping people off. Each time I go on holiday, of course, it means paying for a cattery. The reasons for my first two trips? I chose to go to NZ in January to avoid the Xmas airfares last December. I chose to go to Rarotonga because my friends were there for a limited time and had invited me. My friend in Auckland also expected me. It’s just unfortunate that my financial situation isn’t as healthy as last year. But what can I do? Not a lot.

I did enjoy my week in Rarotonga and I might blog about it at a later date but I’m not in the mood right now. I never did blog about my trip to Myanmar. I still might, even though it was now three years ago!

I came here, actually, to blog about social media, but now I can’t be bothered. I don’t like Facebook and hate the fact that they own Instagram. Twitter is rather depressing and it feels like one-way communication all the time. But that’s all I’m going to say right now. I’m going to have a cup of tea and read a book and get off this thing. I sometimes wish I was a cat, curled up by the heater, purring.

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Frustrations continue

I’ve been enjoying the sunshine lately, and sitting in it to go over my physical family history files. I discovered I had not added information from another researcher to my online tree so did that and worked on confirming it. Still have information to add.

The frustrations I speak of: I have not had any work at one of my part-time jobs for over a week now (nearly 2). I imagine there are no upcoming projects due to the end of financial year and no-one wants to commit. It is very frustrating, as I wait daily for news to go in, then try to get extra shifts at my other part-time job. It’s the cruelty of contract work – a win-win for employers, but totally unfair for people trying to pay their bills. Lucky for me, I have savings to cover, but for people like a colleague who had just taken a month off, it must be very difficult.

I still haven’t heard, and the lack of communication is rather poor. I have, therefore, just used the morning in obtaining extra shifts where possible at the other job. It will be a poor fortnight.

In the middle of enjoying a relaxing day for a change, I got a phone call yesterday to go to a job interview today! I had applied for two jobs. The one for today’s interview doesn’t pay very well but it’s permanent and full-time, so I wouldn’t experience the worries I’ve had over the past week. Immediate stress! Of course the sunshine has gone today – and it’s very wet and very cold. Just my luck. I just cannot relax before an interview so my day is ruined as I stay home worrying, my power bill sky-rocketing with having the heater on all day.

If I get the job, good. If I don’t, well I can hope for more projects and keep looking elsewhere. My current positions are well paid. It’s just the uncertainty of it which is stressful.

And now, I’d better prepare…

Postscript:  The interview went well, I thought. But I don’t care if I don’t get it. In fact, in a way, I don’t want it. I would greatly miss the people at my other jobs and I worry about the culture at this job. “Glass door” reviews are not full of praise. The interviewer didn’t even shake my hand or welcome me properly (the only other interviewer asked questions through a conference call). Also, not to sound racist, but all the managers seem to be Pakistani – nepotism? The reviews say the company is all about money and not people (as is often the case).

Meanwhile, finally received word that there is no work at the part-time job next week either.

So, I worry.

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Frustrations

Technology – great when it works, bloody annoying and time-consuming when it doesn’t work properly or wants you to jump through hoops. For a start Mozilla is currently taking ages to load pages, despite my clearing the cache and cookies. That means, of course, that I have to re-enter forgotten passwords. Gmail is a real bastard if you’re signed out. Even if you’re accessing the account from the same computer and you’ve forgotten your recently changed password, you have to have your mobile phone with you or remember, ffs, when you joined gmail (who remembers that?) – this despite answering a ‘secret’ question which should be enough.  Fuck gmail. I would like to find an alternative but that involves changing email for so many other websites.

Even just now, as I signed back into wordpress, I could not find the usual button for adding a post on the left hand menu. Have they changed the site recently? It seems you now have to click extra buttons to do what one button used to do – like the “Publish” which you have to click twice. Annoying!

It’s not just technology that’s infuriating me lately. It’s things like simply applying for a job. Here in Australia, government and associated institutions want a list of Key Selection Criteria which you must answer in a certain way. Most give a list of about five to eight criteria to answer, giving examples of “knowledge and understanding”, bla bla bla. I hate it. I loathe it. And when some job demands answers to 13 criteria I want to scream.

It’s that time of year. We’ve had cold, wet weather and with shorter days I get fed up with the cold and darkness. I’m a sun worshipper, and always feel much happier when the sun shines as it is, ironically, today, when I have stuff to do inside on my only day off. I tend to withdraw into a semi-hibernation, but also feel depressed (and, of course, alone).

I made an effort to go to a colleague’s birthday party one cold, very wet night, which involved a long car journey through unfamiliar, congested, roads in poor visibility. I’m not a party-goer, normally, especially when I don’t know others at the party. You’re supposed to be able to meet new people and engage in conversation, but as an introvert, I’m reluctant to barge in on obvious little cliques of people who know each other, and end up standing or sitting alone. I didn’t even have a drink to sip. The hostess had assured me there would be beer so I didn’t need to bring my own. I was not offered one, nor was it evident where it might be. The men had beers. Whether or not they had brought their own I couldn’t tell. I eventually went into the kitchen and helped myself to some filtered water. (The only beverage on offer in general was strong alcoholic punch, which I didn’t want to drink due to driving). I was relieved to leave when others did and drive home to the quiet, and my purring cat. I’m not the sociable type. I enjoy small gatherings with people I know, but parties of unknown people in loud conversation with each other is not for me.

I haven’t been able to relax lately, with organising getting the car serviced and preparing for the real estate agent’s six-monthly inspection of the property. Now, I’m trying to apply for jobs, which also stresses me out. I look forward to a week in the Cooks Islands next month. It will pass very quickly, and I won’t want to return to the depths of winter.

Enough for now. Back to the dreaded KSC. Three down, four to go, then the covering letter. Ugh.

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Brief trip to NZ

I was yearning for my brother’s place and decided to fly over in January (rather than in December when the fares are horrendous). H picked me up from the airport. For a change there was no problem. (When I say she picked me up from the airport, she actually parked down the road, avoiding overpriced parking fees.) Unfortunately, it was just before the “5 o’clock rush” (actually an hour before). I thought we’d be ok, but it took forever just to get to the centre of town. Wellington’s traffic infrastructure is ridiculous. In short, it took two hours to get to Upper Hutt. Was great to see bro, and I spent several days there.

On the way to secluded beach

I accidentally hit a camera setting I don’t normally use. Amazing the different effects for the same place – one looks tropical and the other looks quite ominous.

I stayed briefly in PN. I didn’t have a car so couldn’t visit people and had no real desire to visit Massey or advertise my presence. I only met a close friend for dinner one night.

For the rest of the time we travelled to Napier and surrounds and returned to my bro’s on the way back to Wellington.

I got a bit of bird-spotting in.

Yellowhammer

Bertha, the goose, was still overseeing her flock.

I spent some time with my grand-kitty.

She was adorable and affectionate as a kitten but has grown into a rather aloof cat (not a lap cat at all).

Cider tasting in Napier

A pleasant trip overall.

Back to work it was. Last I wrote, I think I mentioned going full-time at one job and ditching the other. Sadly, the place I wanted to work full-time can’t guarantee they’d have enough work. However, the good news is that the hourly rate has gone up $6. Since then, a law has passed allowing casual workers to apply to their employers to go permanent. The hourly rate would be less, however. I worked out the difference allowing for time off, paid and unpaid. I’m better off staying with what I have. In the meantime, I’ve decided to cut back on the hours worked at the other place, taking more Saturdays and weekends off, so I can actually do stuff. I just had a three-day weekend and enjoyed it tremendously, getting out on a local bird trip, going to the Escher exhibition and generally relaxing and enjoying myself.

I’ve booked a holiday in the Cook Islands for my winter getaway. It’s a difficult place to get to from Australia. Although there is a direct flight (one day a week) from Sydney, it arrives at something like 2 am. My friend in Auckland wanted us to travel together, so I’ll be travelling to Auckland both ways, which, unfortunately, involves an overnight stay as the flight times are not conducive to safely connecting to my flights to and from Australia. The Cooks being on the other side of the date line doesn’t help. Anyway, something to look forward to however brief the stay.

I’m sad that summer is coming to an end. Even though it’s often in the 30s, I enjoy the sunshine. Already it’s getting dark in the morning. Last week we had a cold snap (20 deg only) and I hated it.

That’s all, folks.

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